Recovery from Porn Addiction
Recovery from Porn AddictionHere are some basic steps to overcoming a porn addiction:
1. Admit to yourself and to someone else that you have problem. Also admit that you cannot stop on your own. This maybe the most difficult step for men struggling with pornography: to admit that you cannot stop on your own. There is a saying in the sex addiction recovery groups: “Stopping is not the problem for sex addicts….we have stopped thousands of times. Staying stopped is the problem.” You must tell someone that you have a problem. This can be a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or a 12-step group for sexual addiction. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. – Proverbs 28:13.
2. Acknowledge that viewing porn is a sin and that God loves you, accepts you, and desires for you to walk in freedom. Make the decision to do whatever is needed to repent (turn away from) porn and seek healing. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:1) I recommend making an appointment with a Christian certified sexual addiction therapist (CSAT), attending a Sexaholics Anonymous or Celebrate Recovery meeting, buying and reading “Surfing for God” by Michael Cusick, and believing that God’s grace is sufficient for those who believe in the name of his son, Jesus Christ.
3. Reveal the truth by making a list of your sexual sins and other behaviors and confess those to a safe Christian man that has spiritual integrity. Everybody needs a “safe” person to share their struggles with. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” – James 5:16
4. Burn the bridges that lead back to the porn. Destroy any material on your computer, phone, tablets, DVDs, flash drives, etc. You and your accountability partner can put blockers/filters on your computers/phones/tablets. Some will even trade in their smart phone for an old fashion dumb phone (no internet access). Do not think you can even take a peek to see what you are missing. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5.
5. Be Patient. The addiction is “Cunning, Powerful, and Baffling”! Know that recovery is like training for a marathon (it takes time….3-5 years of recovery work). Take it one day at a time. Surround yourself with Godly men that understand the battle with temptation and yet also understand what it takes to recover from sexual addiction. Be humble. I like the saying, “Its about direction, not perfection.” You will make mistakes. You are imperfect but you are a child of God. Your addiction does not define you!
“But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” (1 Timothy 6:11-12)
Books and Workbooks
“Surfing For God” Michael Cusick
“Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction” Mark Laaser
“Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction” Patrick Carnes
“Falling Forward: The Pursuit of Sexual Purity” Craig R. Lockwood
“Every Man’s Battle” Stephen Arterburn
“Shattered Vows: Hope and healing for women who have been betrayed” Debra Laaser
Porn Blockers and Accountability Software
www.bsecure.com
www.covenanteyes.com
www.everyhomeprotected.com
Recommended Recovery Groups
Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) www.sa.org
Celebrate Recovery (CR) www.celebraterecovery.com/
If you are wanting to do counseling for a pornography or sexual addiction, please call our center at 303-933-5800 to setup an appointment with a qualified counselor.
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